24/365 spanish class

sitting in class.  the teacher conspicuously absent.

two kids walk in, asking if anyone will sign a petition to keep me from going on the spanish club trip.

i don’t even know these kids.  are they the ones calling my house, telling me i’m a bitch, a cunt, deserve to die?

the room is completely silent.  kids i’ve known since i could walk, they’re just sitting there, watching me. 

these are my friends, these silent cowards. 

they know the truth and they just sit there.

if i go on the trip, the teacher will cancel it, the two kids are saying.  i must be stopped, they say.

she’s mad at my father.  i’m a disease, a cancer, a blight on their perfect world that must be excised.

i’m all bravado that i’m not feeling.  i raise my hand, “i’ll sign it”.

Blogged, Personal, Memories,
Tagged as: people,x365 November 22, 2008 @ 03:40 pm

23/365 scott

surrounded by walls, the bed, a sloped ceiling.  you.

your hand rubbing my leg.

your thumb trailing down my arm.

“have you ever kissed anyone?”, you said.  “do you know what a french kiss is?”, you said.

me, i’m too shy, too embarrassed, too not-getting-this-moment.

you, you’re 18.  me, i’m 9.

“come on, kiss me”, you’re saying.  your hands still busy. 

i’m fully dressed, completely naked.

i can’t breathe.

“don’t you like me?”, you’re saying.  “show me how you kiss”, you’re saying.

your hand teasing my clothes.  your voice low, laughing at me.

me, i’m trapped, confused, wishing this was not happening.

you, you’re my favorite.  me, i’m your cousin.

Blogged, Personal, Memories,
Tagged as: people,x365 November 22, 2008 @ 03:16 pm

22/365 mr zebac

i had to tell you that i couldn’t afford the trigonometry calculator required for class.  you kindly allowed me to use the book to do my calculations and you turned it into a game, challenging me to outdo the calc users.

Blogged, Personal, Memories,
Tagged as: people,x365 September 29, 2008 @ 04:05 pm

21/365 clown mural

daddy’d decorated my birthday present with this clown and i’d kept it in my scrapbook.  deciding to use it for baby bro’s wall, i loved it – daddy had made it and it was something connecting me to the baby boy.

the original clown

Blogged, Personal, Memories,
Tagged as: people,x365 September 25, 2008 @ 10:46 pm

20/365 my namesake

my mother told me stories of growing up in the 50s, raised by her nanny and the inequality the woman faced.  that someone would have treated her unjustly, unfairly, and with prejudice was more than I could grasp.  “why?” was unanswerable.

Blogged, Personal, Memories,
Tagged as: people,x365 September 24, 2008 @ 06:48 pm