so ya ever had…

someone sabotaging you due to their own insecurities?  it’s mean, it’s cruel, and, seriously, that shit needs to stop.  i’ve allowed it for entirely too long and it’s high time i deal with it.  i am supportive of other people and their endeavours and i deserve the same. 

now if the universe will just align accordingly, that’d be a great help.  otherwise, this is going to take longer than i’d prefer.

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Tagged as: crypticwhatsits July 26, 2010 @ 08:49 am

if you’re rushing off to the ER, don’t forget the cookies!

my aunt went in for a regular checkup and was told to go to the ER right away, because they think she may be having congestive heart failure.  (no, seriously, this year has just sucked.)

she tells the doctor that no, she can’t go just yet.  she has to go home first.

she’s baked cookies and she should take those with her for the nurses.

damn, but i love my family.  buncha quirky weirdos

(she IS in the hospital now and seems to be feeling better, atm.  they’ll do an angiogram thingy on friday.  also, the nurses loved the cookies.)

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Tagged as: thingsnottodowhenhavingheartfailure July 07, 2010 @ 11:13 am

never pass up the opportunity to *be silly* and “non-sensible”!

every now and again, you come across really beautiful, meaningful posts on the internet… and this was one of them: The Traveling Red Dress

I want, just once, to wear a bright red, strapless ball gown with no apologies.  I want to be shocking, and vivid and wear a dress as intensely amazing as the person I so want to be.  And the more I thought about it the more I realized how often we deny ourselves that red dress and all the other capricious, ridiculous, overindulgent and silly things that we desperately want but never let ourselves have because they are simply “not sensible”.  Things like flying lessons, and ballet shoes, and breaking into spontaneous song, and building a train set, and crawling onto the roof just to see the stars better.  Things like cartwheels and learning how to box and painting encouraging words on your body to remind yourself that you’re worth it.

don’t let the “i’ll do/get that later"s stack up too high. 

as TheBloggess said, “Everyone needs a red dress”.

as for me, it’s going to be a busy week.  back to the dentist for what will hopefully be my last visit for EONS (abscessed tooth seems to finally be healing!  YIPPEE!) and i’ve some projects that i need to get started on and get finished (so i can start cutting my own “i’ll do/get that later” list down a tad)!  tho i’m certainly ~all up in~ the “be silly"ness  

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Tagged as: motivational June 27, 2010 @ 05:27 pm

i’ve insomnia… AGAIN.

thanks to an abscessed tooth, i now have enough steroids and antibiotics coursing through my body that bacteria are now just running willy nilly away from me in fright.  i can hear their lil screams as they scatter   unfortunately, this also means icky, ICKY side effects.  of course, those are better than the possible bone infection IN MY FACE, but yeah, i could do without the “increased mood swings” (no, seriously, i do that JUST FINE all by myself), the “increased sweating” (if i’m going to sweat, i better be getting an orgasm out of it, ffs), and the $@#% “changes in sleep”.  this isn’t “changes in sleep”, this is “NO MOTHERFUCKIN’ SLEEP AT ALL”. 

...though i can see why they’re hesitant to use that description - “no sleep” might offend some people.

and that sound you’re hearing?  it’s the hysteria-tinged laughter of a woman on the brinks of insanity.

but don’t worry.  any minute now a hallmark commercial or one of those “take time to be a dad” ads will be on and i’ll be in tears.  THANKS, MEDS!

of course, i did get one cool side effect… “feeling of whirling motion”!

so let me get this into a clearer mental picture for you:

drippy sweaty, bags under bleary red-rimmed eyes, alternately laughing/crying, and WHIRLING while sitting perfectly still. 

i am the hottest woman alive. 

literally. 

just one week to go. 

~*cackles hysterically while crying*~

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Tagged as: whatdoyoumeanmoodswings,answercarefully,insomniastrikesagain June 24, 2010 @ 01:56 am

going thru old keepsakes

growing up, my parents spent ~years~ working on our church’s bazaars.  every year, the bazaar was held on one weekend ... in may??... with carnival rides, arts & crafts sales, lots of food, raffles and a varied assortment of booths.  (the money raised would go to our church’s building fund.)  volunteering to help with the “country store” booth meant a solid year of begging grocery donations, bartering for containers, and trips all over the city to pick up food, which would culminate in a frenzied evening of filling 250 baskets full of groceries - an assembly line process that was almost more fun than the bazaar itself.  over the weekend, we’d hawk tickets - 3 chances for $1!!! - and with each spin of the wheel someone would win a basket of groceries.  (i can remember times when there was almost no food in the house for us to eat, but the living room was absolutely *packed* with food for the country store.  i’d a love-hate relationship with the bazaar.) then in 1983, my parents took chairmanship of the bazaar, itself.

my dad painting the front of the country store booth - judging by that shirt, it was the early to mid-70s ;o

serious amount of groceries - my brother and i - i’ve no explanation for what was going on with those glasses or that hair.  or the monk.

my mom, after 27 years, decided to finally throw out their bazaar book - a conglomeration of meeting minutes and assorted notes on running the bazaar.  i snagged it just before she trashed it and was happy to find a bunch of fliers and the clown logo that my father’d drawn.  somewhere out in the world is a bunch of artwork done by my father and i have almost none of it, so i’m happy whenever i come across examples.  i spent many an hour, sitting at my dad’s feet as he’d draw posters, fliers, banners, etc, for different events, trying to mimic his lettering, but i never mastered his ability to draw.  i’ve always thought that he missed his calling as a commercial artist.

i love the look of these old fliers, from the days before photoshop, illustrator, and the like.  when signs had human touches.  before everything had to be ~perfect~ and the rough sketching shown through.  and i love that clown.  holey-toed socks and all

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Tagged as: art,memories June 17, 2010 @ 09:50 pm