fuck first impressions. or excuse me, i’m coping.

you’re walking down the street and suddenly you’re overcome with the feeling that everyone is watching you walk - commenting on your looks, your clothing, the way in which you walk, just waiting for you to do something stupid.  so, of course, now, you’re aware of every step, repeating “don’t walk like a duck” in your head, then *bam* you trip over your own foot and stumble.

you’re next in line ~anywhere~ and realize that everyone is looking at you - just waiting for the moment you get up to the counter and prove that you’ve no idea what it is that you’re doing, willing you to just screw up, so that they can have a #FAIL story to tell.  so, of course, now, you get up to the counter and you can’t speak without stumbling over every 3rd word.  you don’t know the ~correct procedures~, so the clerk is annoyed at what is obviously a babbling idiot in front of her.

you’re minding your own business acutely aware of *every move you’re making*, then suddenly become aware that other people *are* actually monitoring you, questioning you.

no matter where you go, you are acutely aware of the judgments people are making, so you scrutinize your every breath, your every step, every movement, every hair that may or may not be out of place.  you watch what everyone else is doing and try to mimic them, so that you won’t do something utterly crass and impolite.  you monitor every sentence that you utter, listening as you stumble over the simplest of words (and for god’s sake, stick to the simple words, because lord knows, you’ll never be able to say anything with more than one syllable without completely mispronouncing it).  all the while, you *know* that the only thing you’re doing is succeeding in stretching yourself into one helluva taut rubber band.  one misstep and you will be completely undone.  no longer able to hold it together. 

so just. shut. up.

stand in the corner, back to the wall, and try to look as inconspicuous as possible. otherwise, risk a panic attack or, in some extreme cases, a loss of temper.

this is my life.

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Blogged, Personal, Comments (0)
Tagged as: day2day,personal November 22, 2009 @ 04:20 pm

weird?  yes, we is.

weird, not an insult.

“weird is NOT an insult, "normal" should be dropped from the english language, yeah that last one is probably a metaphor for the internet, and I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together”

Blogged, Just for Fun, humor, Comments (0)
Tagged as: comics,weirdness November 21, 2009 @ 12:54 am

patty griffin and natalie maines - mary

from a recent sons of anarchy episode (greatest show ever).  beautiful song.

mary, you’re covered in roses,
you’re covered in ashes,
you’re covered in rain,
you’re covered in babies,
covered in slashes,
covered in wilderness,
covered in stains.
you cast aside the sheet, you cast aside the shroud
of another man, who serves the world proud
you greet another son, you lose another one
on some sunny day and always you stay, mary

jesus says mother i couldn’t stay another day longer
flies right by and leaves a kiss upon her face
while the angels are singin’ his praises in a blaze of glory
mary stays behind and starts cleaning up the place

oh mary, she moves behind me
she leaves her fingerprints everywhere
every time the snow drifts,
every way the sand shifts,
even when the night lifts,
she’s always there.

jesus says mother i couldn’t stay another day longer
flies right by and leaves a kiss upon her face
while the angels are singin’ his praises in a blaze of glory
mary stays behind and starts cleaning up the place

mary, you’re covered in roses,
you’re covered in ruins,
covered in secrets,
you’re covered in treetops,
covered in birds,
who can sing a million songs without any words.
you cast aside the sheets, you cast aside the shroud
of another man, who serves the world proud
you greet another son, you lose another one
on some sunny day and always you stay, mary

Blogged, Just for Fun, music, videos, Comments (1)
Tagged as: music,videos,sonsofanarchy November 21, 2009 @ 12:30 am

reverse graffiti - paul curtis

ok, seriously, this is *too cool*.  i’m ever a fan of really well done, creative graffiti and this certainly fits the bill…

from “Reverse Graffiti” Artist Paul Curtis Shows Us How Dirty We Really Are:

If there is a lesson in the work of the British artist Paul Curtis (aka “Moose”), it would be that the world is a mess. Curtis’s signature technique is cleaning. He strips away years of accumulated soot, dust, dirt, and atmospheric detritus to make pieces like these, which were part of a celebration of street art. He also creates promotions for not-for-profits like Greenpeace and commissions for brands such as Xbox and Clorox’s GreenWorks.

oh, the irony.

via (guy kawasaki @ alltop.com).

Blogged, Just for Fun, arts&crafts, Comments (2)
Tagged as: art,graffiti November 18, 2009 @ 02:58 pm

the love of a child…

this made me cry - such a beautiful story, what a wonderful gift…

Girl’s ‘Notes Left Behind’ Made Into Book:

CINCINNATI—Brooke and Keith Desserich say they never intended to write a book about their daughter.

It started as a parent’s personal journal to their younger daughter Gracie, so she would be able to remember her 6-year-old sister, Elena, who was diagnosed with pediatric brain cancer.

“They told us at the very beginning that she had 135 days to live,” Keith Desserich said.

Though her parents didn’t want her to know the severity of her cancer, they feel that she must have known what was happening. The tumor slowly took away her ability to talk.

But Elena was still able to write.

“That was her way to letting us know everything would be OK,” Brooke Desserich said.

After Elena passed away, her parents discovered that their daughter had left a message behind for them—a lot of messages, actually.

“We started to pull out notes and they would be in between CDs or between books on our bookshelf,” Keith Desserich said.

Then the couple started finding them everywhere.

“We started to collect them and they would all say ‘I love you Mom, Dad and Grace.’ We kept finding them, and still to this day, we keep finding them,” Keith Desserich said. “Literally, there are hundreds of notes that we found.”

Elena’s parents each hold onto a sealed note they’ve never opened.

“We always want to know that there’s one more note that we haven’t read yet,” Keith Desserich said.

to purchase “notes left behind”.

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Tagged as: books,stuffthatmademecry November 18, 2009 @ 02:31 pm

the disingenuity of the gene locke campaign and others…

honestly, i’ve not been real excited by the mayoral election this year.  i believe either annise parker or gene locke are equally qualified.  either would be fine.  i don’t suspect that either of them will be as good as bill white has been, but that’s okay.  i think bill white was just ~exceptionally good~.  hard to top that.

but now… the houston chronicle has recently reported on anti-gay attacks forthcoming in the houston mayoral election:

A cluster of socially conservative Houstonians is planning a campaign to discourage voters from choosing City Controller Annise Parker in the December mayoral runoff because she is a lesbian, according to multiple ministers and conservatives involved in the effort.

The group is motivated by concerns about a “gay takeover” of City Hall, given that two other candidates in the five remaining City Council races are also openly gay, as well as national interest driven by the possibility that Houston could become the first major U.S. city to elect an openly gay woman.

Another primary concern is that Parker or other elected officials would seek to overturn a 2001 city charter amendment that prohibits the city from providing benefits to the domestic partners of gay and lesbian employees.

i was hoping we’d not see much of this, but that was just wishful thinking on my part, i guess.  what’s troubling is…

Parker’s opponent, former City Attorney Gene Locke, strongly distanced himself from a previous anti-gay attack against her that ultimately proved to have been a hoax. But he has made recent efforts to court some of the staunch social conservatives who are either actively planning on attacking Parker’s sexuality or strongly considering it.

He appeared at the Pastor Council’s annual gala last Friday and was encouraged several times by State Sen. Dan Patrick, R-Houston, a featured speaker, to stand for conservative values.

Locke has also met with and sought the endorsement of Dr. Steven Hotze, a longtime local kingmaker in conservative politics and author of the Straight Slate in 1985, a coterie of eight City Council candidates he recruited who ran on an anti-gay platform.

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Blogged, Texas, Current Events, Politics, Comments (0)
Tagged as: texas,politics,houston,elections2009,mayor November 15, 2009 @ 11:59 am